Even though some of you fucks need to just feast on crow.

Just when y’all bitch ass niggas thought Oprah didn’t do enough for black folks, getting all outraged when she said things like inner city folks don’t appreciate the value of a free education or “African girls deserve my charity more,” Oprah redeems herself w/a historically unprecedented move. Ladies and Gentlemen, Oprah gives away—free chicken:

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“Get two pieces of grilled chicken, two individual sides and a biscuit!”

You’ve only got until tomorrow 9:59pm CDT to grab it, so hurry up & download!! The coupon is good through May 19th, but you can’t use it on your mama you cheap son of a bitch.

Here are the stipulations straight from Oprah.com:

Limited Time Download
Coupon download available from 9 a.m. CDT on May 5, 2009, to 9:59 p.m. CDT on May 6, 2009. Coupon is redeemable at participating KFC® locations in the United States from May 5, 2009 to May 19, 2009—excluding Mother’s Day, May 10, 2009.

Fellow Negroes, the poaching continues but this time you might see a few white folks. Fridays joints the wars w/a 5¢ appetizer offer w/the purchase of any beverage at the bar for Cinco de Mayo. To my absolute horror, there is NO CHICKEN w/this offer, but you have your choice of crispy bean fries, fried mozzarella, bbq pork ravioli bites, pot stickers, & a half order of loaded potato skins.

I REPEAT THERE IS NO CHICKEN WITH THIS DEAL.

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And the negro poaching saga continues…

A Popeyes in Rochester, NY ran out of chicken during the 8 pieces for $4.99 special and customers were HEATED!!! Some of these bammas even tried different locations to no avail.

“They shoulda had a tractor trailer out back…with extra chicken on ice, you know??” – Valued Popeye’s Chicken Customer

So far no reports of chicken deprivation or sustained injuries during the El Pollo Loco or KFC giveaways. I’ll stay tuned…

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Not to be outdone by Popeye’s, El Pollo Loco & KFC have joined the negro poaching chicken wars by offering not just discounted, but FREE chicken on back to back dates. The stipulations are interesting. KFC is offering one piece of chicken (per manager’s choice) so you might end up w/a puny wing, or a steroid breast depending on the supervisor’s mood &/or high. El Pollo Loco’s looking out for you niggas tho:

The Taste the Fire® Offer (“offer”) consists of one flame-grilled leg and one flame-grilled thigh, two tortillas (choice of flour or corn) and fresh salsa.

Now THAT’S good eating!!

Did you stand in line for Popeye’s payday?!

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Negroes we GOTSTA do better!! That means YOU Jasmine Sullivan!! This episode is about Annie the Chicken Queen, hungry ass negroes waiting in barricaded lines for chicken, & Jasmine Sullivan’s cotton commercial. Check it out:

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I seen some of y’all MySpace pages, so it ain’t like bammas is missing any meals. Don’t front like you not finna be in line like everybody else copping that 8 piece mixed for $4.99. Me on the other hand–I don’t do the chicken w/bones thing *pinkies up* so y’all have fun. Shout me out if you see me though.  I’ll be making my rounds at each location selling bootleg DVDs & hollering “Braid, Meeeeess??”